Prematurity Awareness Day

November 17th is designated by the March of Dimes as Prematurity Awareness Day. Preemie moms are asked to blog about their experiences with prematurity and how it has affected our lives.

I had one of the most ideal pregnancies. I suffer from migraines- they were gone, and I had no headaches when I was pregnant. I have horrible acid reflux- ironically, my reflux was also completely gone during pregnancy. At doctor's appointments, my weight gain was ideal, they always found the heartbeat easily and it was strong and my ultrasounds were textbook. My doctor always joked that I was having a very uneventful pregnancy- status quo. At my 24 week appointment, I mentioned to my OB that I suddenly couldn't wear my wedding bands and my face *looked* swollen to me. It was also July in AL..and he said all your labs look great, welcome to being pregnant in the South in the Summer. I laughed and went on my way. 2 weeks later I went back after I got really high blood pressure readings at home. My blood pressure was so high at the doctor's office that they didn't tell me the number for fear of freaking me out. I still had ONLY a trace of protein- the doctor said it was barely a trace. He thought I was having an anxiety attack and just needed to rest so he admitted me for observation. The rest of the details are blurry to me, b/c 1. I don't remember much about the next 3 days and 2. I was kind of in and out. Sometime that evening I was transferred by ambulance to USA Children's and Women's hospital. My pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome had progressed at record speed and USA had a level III NICU....By 1 pm the next day, my organs were failing and I was prepped for an emergency c-section...I was on so much magnesium sulfate to prevent seizures, that I don't remember anything except the feeling that I was about to die- I remember that vividly. The night after I delivered, my sodium levels suddenly dropped and I went back down to labor/delivery so that I could be monitored 24 hours (very much like ICU). I was in the hospital for a week with blood pressures as high as 200/130- it was terrifying. I kept waiting to hear "we've done everything we can."

My husband said that Robinson came out screaming!! A fighter from the beginning. He was technically a 26 weeker but suffered from IUGR, so he was the size of a 24 weeker- 1 pound 7 ounces and 12 inches long- he was known as 'foot long' for a little bit. He was on a cpap for a few hours, but then needed the help of a ventilator. Before Robinson, I did not know ANYTHING about having a preemie. I didn't honestly even know that a baby could survive at 26 weeks- I was very ignorant on the subject. Robinson has taught me a great amount. On his 3rd day of life, Robinson suffered a pulmonary hemorrhage. Many preemies do not recover from this type of injury. They feared that he would have numerous brain bleeds and that there would be permanent damage. Robinson proved them wrong again...he had NO brain bleeds....and the hemorrhage was found to be caused by a very wide open PDA that was not responding to meds. At 4 weeks old, he had heart surgery to ligate the PDA...at 4.5 weeks, our man finally came off of the ventilator and on a CPAP...2 months later, on his due date, he came home.

Robinson has taught me so much. The most important lesson is to never lose faith in God because you never know what he has planned for you. God knew that we were meant to be Robinson's parents and that we could love and care for him and help him in his developmental life journey. We cherish each day with him- yes we have frustrating days, just like any parent, when he won't nap or keeps getting into things he shouldn't...but those days also bring huge smiles to our faces because we GET to HAVE those moments- we are PARENTS!! So, it does make those moments a little more bearable and laughable. He has brought so much joy into our lives and I can't wait to see the boy, the teenager, the man, and ultimately the husband and father he will become.

Having a preemie changes everything about your life. You view everything differently- most importantly you become a germaphobe! You try to protect your child and may be a little on the extreme of over protection. You eventually find a balance and realize that you have to let them live their lives (i.e. I'm finally letting Robinson join Th.eLi.ttle.Gy.m!) There will always be cause for concern- can he handle it? will he get sick? are his lungs strong enough? will he be put in the hospital? It's scary stuff, but it's also wonderful to have him here with us, smiling and laughing. He is such a happy toddler.

As the mother of a preemie, you have some realizations- I will never experience childbirth. If we are fortunate to get the green light to try again for another biological child- I will very likely have another preemie, and most definitely have another c-section. There is no hope for me to go "natural" Most people don't know this about me, but I was *planning* on trying to go natural without an epidural or any drugs....I have a pretty high tolerance for pain (I was at work 2 weeks after my c-section...1 week after my hospital discharge)...I think I'm tough- and I think I could have done it, given the chance. I will never know....

I will not know what it's like to have a true baby shower- we had our shower while Robinson was in the NICU. I barely got to wear my maternity clothes...I didn't have a belly for that long. Heck, I JUST started feeling Robinson kicking before he was born.

And finally, I will never know what it's like to hear my baby cry and hold him/her when they are born. I don't remember Robinson's cry because I was so out of it from the mag/sulfate- I actually passed out during the delivery and didn't come to until recovery...I didn't get to hold Robinson until he was almost 5 weeks old....and for 2 months after that, I was allowed to hold him for about an hour at a time so that his body temp would stay consistent....so if you say Robinson is spoiled because I pick him up every time he so much as wimpers- I don't mind- he and I are still catching up on our snuggle time.

Am I bitter? NO
Am I angry? NO
Am I sad? I was, but I'm not anymore.

I have a stronger faith in God than I have ever had in my life. He felt that I was special enough to get to experience a true miracle- Robinson is truly a miracle. I feel so very blessed and so happy to have him in our lives. He brings meaning to my day and peace and happy dreams to my nights. I am a stronger person for having to endure this journey. Of course, I still have a long way to go-- I have spent so much time focusing on Robinson that I have realized that I need to set a little time a side for me-- I've started working out again, and I'm trying to get myself healthy again. Having a preemie has taught me that not only do I need to rejoice and cherish Robinson's life, but I also need to thank God that I am here on this Earth to experience and see my little man every day. My disease progressed quickly and it has taken me a looooong time to bounce back. I need to make sure that I take care of myself and get in a good place, so that I can be with Robinson and Rian for many, many years to come.

Having a preemie has changed my life- for the better. I am a stronger, more positive person and I cherish each and every day. Although, I would not wish having a preemie on anyone- God trusted us to handle His planned path, and I trust Him to have the strength for tomorrow.


Please visit the March of Dimes web site for more information on Prematurity Awareness Month and what you can do to help ensure that "one day, all babies will be born healthy."

Developmental Appointment

Last week we went to Robinson's Developmental NICU f/u appointment. These appointments are always rather long and tedious. Trying to get a 15 month old to do exactly what you want at that exact time isn't always easy. It's important, though, to talk to the doctors and therapists to make certain that Robinson is not falling behind in any areas. You want to catch these things early, so that you can schedule physical, occupational or speech therapy to help him catch up developmentally.


Our appointment went very well. Robinson was very active and willing to participate. The session itself lasted about 30 minutes, so he was worn out afterwards. The doctor said gross and fine motor skills are still at his actual age of almost 16 months. She said his hand/eye coordination is phenomenal and probably a little ahead of his actual age. She was very impressed that he already colors and knows how to hold a crayon correctly and knows what to do with it. Coloring is one of Robinson's favorite things to do now. He loves to listen to music and color- do we have a future artist on our hands???


She said socially and cognitively he is still ahead of his actual age as well. She said he interacts well, is very curious and tries to figure out how something works, plus, he follows commands extremely well- which as far as speech goes, she said he's doing well also. He's probably somewhere in between his adjusted and actual age on speech, but she said he's so independent that he doesn't have to ask for it- he just does it himself! The doctor was very pleased with him...extremely pleased at his growth and his health...we haven't even had a cold or ear infection yet (BIG KNOCK ON WOOD)!! She wants us to get out more this winter. She said use common sense- don't go where there are a lot of kids, but he needs the stimulation. So, we'll go to the stores and parks when they are less crowded, etc.


We are so proud of Robinson and so thankful and grateful for how blessed we have been throughout this year and a half. We continue to pray for Robinson's health and his growth and development.

Trying some chocolate for the first time- he's still not into sweets- much to his Daddy's disappointment!

Forward Facing in the carseat in Mommy's new car!!

New Haircut- 'drop and give him 20!'

Here is a video of Robinson doing some of his 'tricks'. At 15 months old Robinson is:

*walking/running
*saying dog, duck, mommy, daddy, hey (with meaning)
*copying simple stuff that we do
*on complete table food
*using sippy cups proficiently
*opening/closing doors and turning pages in books by himself
*can open and take and put objects in closed containers
*can stack blocks and other objects
*can ride his fire truck
*and I'm sure a thousand other things that I'm forgetting right now :)

3 Years is a Charm

Tomorrow, Rian and I will celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary!

So much time, for obvious reasons, is devoted to Robinson, and I wanted to set aside a special post to let Rian know how special he is to me as well. He is my rock and my best friend. He makes me laugh...and he listens. He has helped me to be so strong throughout this last tough year, and I look forward to many years to come.


Cheers to Mr. Turner!

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween everybody!

Robinson had a great time dressing up and went outside and played in the yard long enough for me to take some pictures. However, he didn't nap well all day because he is cutting his molars and by 6pm he was done! haha We went ahead and took a bath and he was in bed asleep by 7pm. Of course, our first trick or treaters didn't show up until 7:15 (we live in a VERY large neighborhood and we are in the back, so it takes them a while to get to our house). I felt bad that he didn't get to see any of the kids dressed up, but so glad that he cooperated long enough to put his costume on and let Mommy play photographer! Enjoy!! The Holiday Season has begun...YAY!!

Our Little Pumpkin

He is LOVING being outside and running lately- all boy!

Robinson and his Nana

Daddy and Robinson

Isn't he cute?!

We went inside for a little bit because it was so cold here, and Robinson didn't like. Here he is with his Poppa trying to 'pout' to let him back outside!

So...I gave in :)

Robinson and Mommy

that hat cracked us up

Ready to Trick or Treat....maybe next year!